On January 10th, Nick Saban, a renowned figure in college football coaching with seven national championships under his belt, declared his retirement. After 17 seasons at the University of Alabama, Saban said that his age was getting in the way of his coaching, and so, he decided to retire.


Alabama fans are taking this well. Just kidding — it’s a shitshow.



People are freaking out for a variety of reasons. First, us Americans just aren’t good at handling sports news; if you need an example of this, look at the city of Philadelphia after literally any game, no matter if their team wins or loses. Second, there’s been discussion about which coach will take his place, and no one is seen as worthy enough of his position.


“If it’s Dabo Swinney, I’m pouring gasoline on myself and setting myself on fire on the 50-yard line, you can guarantee it,” said one caller to the Paul Finebaum Show. “If it’s Dabo Swinney, I’m pulling my arm off and taking that contract right through and beating the hell out of myself.”



Other people simply documented their friend’s and family’s reactions to the news, ranging from a simple “oh shit, no,” to denial, to pizza-themed tributes.


@ki.nicole_ When your momma is a big #Alabama fan & you tell her that #NickSaban is retiring. #AlabamaFootball #NickSabanRetires #BamaFootball ♬ original sound - N I K K I


@plugged.in.sports Man was in denial #nicksaban #retiring #whatsnext #alabama #football ♬ original sound - Plugged In


@retro.jt Bro really put a slice of pizza down #nicksaban #alabamafootball #alabama #fyp ♬ original sound - Justin Hampton


We’re definitely going to know who will replace Saban soon enough. In the meantime, reach out to any Alabama fans in your life and make sure they’re doing okay — and get ready to coach them through the five stages of grief.